A Little Pizzazz
by jojotier
Summary: AU where everything's the same except Genos's personality is the same as Metaton's from Undertale- that is to say, flamboyant, outspoken, and ready to take on the world. (CRACK)


**I have sinned.**

* * *

"Teacher, I have _arrived_ ~"

Oh God, that cyborg actually showed up.

Saitama honestly hadn't been sure of what to think about this Genos kid the first time he saw him. It had been the week before, during that entire mosquito epidemic, where that weird woman was gorging herself on blood and leaving mummified corpses in her wake. By then, the cyborg had been in tatters, apparently about to self destruct as a last hope, before Saitama sort of meandered into the battle and dealt one punch to the villainess. Of course, that was all it took, and while Saitama was disappointed since she was supposed to be in her all powerful form, he soon found something else to focus on.

He had asked then, "Hey. You okay there?"

Genos had simply smirked, trying his best to sit up. "Oh darling, never been better."

"Your arms were torn off."

"Who needs arms when you've got legs like these?" How the cyborg was able to somehow strike a pose that actually showed off those legs of his, Saitama would never know. "But there's really only one question I have- I _have_ to know who you are."

"Ah? Saitama." The hero had shrugged before turning around, about to walk away. The way he saw it, he was probably never going to see this guy again, and even then, the cyborg could always just go ahead and fix himself up. Or at least, he could call someone to fix him up. Either way, Saitama needed to get back to his cactus.

"Saitama, as much as I _love_ the view that I'm getting down here," Okay so the cyborg was ogling him as he walked, lovely, "I have to demand something. You _must_ make me your disciple!"

That was what led Saitama to here, watching the cyborg simply brush past him and into the apartment, tsking as he looked around. "Teacher, not to be too rude, but this place really _is_ a wreck. You simply must do something with all of this-" The cyborg gestured, huffing out a little breath, "- _Squalor_! It's not becoming of a hero of your caliber."

All Saitama could bring himself to say was, "Stop calling me teacher, come on, that sucks."

" _Darling_ then."

"That's even _worse!_ "

"Well, too late, darling." There really was no stopping this guy, huh? Saitama sighed as he sat down, wanting to get this over with. "You see, I really do need to get stronger, and your strength is unparalleled to anything that I've ever witnessed. You weren't even phased when all of your clothing burned away, leaving you to weather through my passionate flames." Why the hell did this guy have to speak that way? It made this all sound way more than it actually was. "Besides that, you've saved my life. I can't very well leave you alone, now that I've found my knight in… well, no armor, as it would have it!"

"Look, Genos." Saitama said, wanting to get this over with so that he could have his house back to himself and get that headache that was blooming in the back of his head down. "I'm really not looking for disciples right now. Besides that, it seems that you have your own problems to contend with-"

"Oh you'll listen to my problems? _Marvelous_!"

"That _isn't what I said-!_ "

"I'm afraid this story starts a while back, about four years ago, when I was fifteen. Back when I was…" Genos took a moment to pause dramatically, and Saitama was about to interrupt when he just continued, "Well, _human_. I didn't use to be made up of metal parts, you know, and even if I had been, I probably wouldn't have the soul and brilliance that I do now! Though, enough about who I am _now_ \- back to the story. Back then, I lived with my poor, dear family, and though we were _barely_ scraping by with needing to pinch pennies, it was still a good life. I truly did love them with all my heart.

"But then there was a cyborg, one who came through and destroyed my town. Everything was gone- the theatre where I acted, the shops, all of the houses… By the time the fiend was done, I was the only one left. I was all alone, and too weak to do anything on my own…" He had wrapped his arms around himself, eyes downcast, and Saitama hoped that this was the end of the story, but he kept going. "That's when the brilliant Dr. Kuseno came to my aid. I begged him for body modification surgery, and he obliged. Now, here I am."

"Oh." said Saitama, looking to the cyborg. There was a faint twinge of sympathy, even as Genos was straightening up, a fiery gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. "I see-"

But then he _kept going_.

"It's been four years now, and I'm nineteen. I've been wandering from town to town, city to city, _weathering_ through the harshest conditions and the most determined of enemies, searching for the cyborg who did this to my family. I've been searching, but I've yet to find them. I have been finding enemies to fight, because I refuse to become anything like the cyborg who went wild in my hometown, I've become a cyborg for justice, and this isn't just for myself- this is for the departed of my town, for Dr. Kuseno, for-"

"Shut up!" Saitama finally snapped. This cyborg was not only exceedingly assertive, but he literally would not stop talking. Was it really so hard to figure out that he really couldn't bear listening anymore. "Shorten it to twenty words or less!"

"Oh but darling, how can anyone shorten a moving soliloquy to that little?" Genos let out a sigh, but smiled anyway. "But fine, since you _did_ save my life, I'll make it snappy."

"Genos."

" _Ye~es?_ "

"You're nineteen, right?

"That's precisely what I said."

"So young… I'm sure you'll surpass me in no time."

Genos's eyebrows were raised, and he smiled. "Now pray tell me, how would that happen?"

"I'm twenty-five, now. I was twenty-two when I began to train in the summer…" Genos was looking at him intently, watching him with fascinated eyes. "Fine. I'll teach you. Do you think you handle it?"

"Oh darling, you've no idea how much I can truly handle." The cyborg clapped, a wide smile on his face. "Lovely! Now that I'm your disciple, of course, I'll have to go get all of my things and move in- maybe I'll bring some things to brighten up this place too, because geez, this place looks plainer than white rice-"

"Hey now wait a goddamn second-!"

"Oooh, I know- maybe getting a throw pillow for here and there would be good…" Then he paused, seemingly looking out to the middle distance. "Ah, sorry doll, I'll go ahead and fix what I'm about to do later." Before Saitama could even say anything, Genos was blasting a goddamn hole through his wall, with a monster falling backwards from the building. There went Saitama's goddamn wall…

As Genos was dashing out, Saitama looked blankly out at the posing cyborg and the monsters there, just watching.

Okay. So what the hell had he just gotten himself into?


End file.
